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The Pontiff of Piff
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joined dec 2022
25+ sales 0% disputed
manifesto
Cult Madeline raised, Pope taughtUK SHIPPING ONLY. INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING COMING SOON
2pm cutoff. Any orders received after this time will be sent on the next working day
Monday to Friday shipping only
Tracking numbers shared 48 hours after sending
Orders are considered lost if 14 days elapsed. Special deliveries if no movement for 10 days
Lost tracked orders receive 100% compensation. Untracked 50%
THE LIST BELOW IS CLICKABLE AND WILL TAKE YOU TO PRODUCT PAGE
Midzotics
- Jet Fuel Gelato
- Animal Mints
- Pancakes
- Donkey Butter
- Pink Lady
Mids
-Blackberry Kush
-Lemon Walker
-Super Nukem
Bargains
-Northern Lights
-Sour Diesel
items
shipping to
To find the description of a particular strain press "ctrl+f"/"⌘+f"
Cheap and cheerful! The Bargain Basement is for the cheapest offerings that I come across. These will in general be stronger than the price suggests but don't expect anything extraordinary, the USP is the price. Won't be so readily available as The Church specialises in import and higher end offerings.
Northern Lights
Nose
Earthy. Herbal. Floral. Faint chocolate smell. Not the strongest smelling but its nice regardless.
Bag Appeal
From large to small buds. Half decent trim job. Copper hairs run throughout some of the bud.Typical of good homegrown
Smoke
Indica dom. More of a relaxing smoke than a knock out smoke. More potent than the price suggests although it is a little drier than I would like. Decent legs on the high.
Sour Diesel
Nose
More pungent than the NL. Skunky smell and the signature chemical smell becomes more apparent once ground up.
Bag Appeal
Mainly small to medium buds. Good trim job and buds have a nice density to them. Just the right amount of stick. The main reason this is here and not in the mids is the presence of some seeds :/
Smoke
More chem on the exhale. Pure sativa feeling, non existent body stone. More potent than the price suggests, very smooth and nice tasting.
Cheap and cheerful! The Bargain Basement is for the cheapest offerings that I come across. These will in general be stronger than the price suggests but don't expect anything extraordinary, the USP is the price. Won't be so readily available as The Church specialises in import and higher end offerings.
Northern Lights
Earthy. Herbal. Floral. Faint chocolate smell. Not the strongest smelling but its nice regardless.
From large to small buds. Half decent trim job. Copper hairs run throughout some of the bud.Typical of good homegrown
Indica dom. More of a relaxing smoke than a knock out smoke. More potent than the price suggests although it is a little drier than I would like. Decent legs on the high.
Sour Diesel
More pungent than the NL. Skunky smell and the signature chemical smell becomes more apparent once ground up.
Mainly small to medium buds. Good trim job and buds have a nice density to them. Just the right amount of stick. The main reason this is here and not in the mids is the presence of some seeds :/
More chem on the exhale. Pure sativa feeling, non existent body stone. More potent than the price suggests, very smooth and nice tasting.
3.5 g Northern Lights
$26.00
BTC0.00110604
3.5 g Sour Diesel
$26.00
BTC0.00110604
7 g Northern Lights
$45.00
BTC0.0019143
7 g Sour Diesel
$45.00
BTC0.0019143
14 g Northern Lights
$85.00
BTC0.0036159
14 g Sour Diesel
$85.00
BTC0.0036159
28 g Northern Lights
$165.00
BTC0.0070191
28 g Sour Diesel
$165.00
BTC0.0070191
To find the description of a particular strain press "ctrl+f"/"⌘+f"
Mids. It seems this has become a pejorative in the last few years however I believe this to be an integral category in weed culture. Smoking exotics (and midzotics) on a daily basis can leave some people feeling fried while others cannot justify the price. Mids will scratch that itch without so much as tickling your wallet. Personally I would say the Mids we offer are levels above street level mids and some are definitely straddling the border between Mids and Midzotics.
Lemon Walker
Nose
Floral and citrus. Can pick up bits of the gassiness from the Lemon Skunk parent but its not as sharp. Kush and walker come through more once ground up. Very pleasant and quite pungent.
Bag Appeal
Small to large buds, minimal stalk. Not too dry but not wet, just right. Rusty hairs running through some buds. Good trim job, minimal leaf. No purp this batch
Smoke
Good hybrid hit. Focused but stoned. Could say its like an indica that feels like a sativa. Creeps up on you, will mash you up if you smoke it too quickly.
Blackberry Kush
Nose
Smells like blackcurrant cordial. Quite pungent. A less common nose. Sweet and dank, cannot get enough of it!
Bag Appeal
More purple than green. Where the green is it is so dark it blends in with the purples perfectly. Rest of the colour comes from the amber in the trichomes. Bag appeal is highest of current selection
Smoke
Smooth and tasty. Ash is a light grey. Indica effect however wouldn't say it's a KO more of a relaxer; larger than usual joints push this towards KO territory. One of those strains you will find yourself indulging in repeatedly due to flavour and effect.
Super Nukem
Nose
Sandalwood and pine. Quite pungent. Reminiscient of classic strains of the 00s. Might not be an "exotic" smell but a one I am particularly fond of.
Bag Appeal
Small to large buds. Light copper hairs and good trichome coverage. You would be forgiven for thinking this is a kush at first glance.
Smoke
This is where this strain really shines. As a near pure indica it is the clear KO strain among the Mids and Bargains sections. Smoke is clean and ash is light grey. There is more of a spicy kush taste, very enjoyable. You know exactly what to expect from the first few tokes, don't plan to do anything but sleep after indulging.
Mids. It seems this has become a pejorative in the last few years however I believe this to be an integral category in weed culture. Smoking exotics (and midzotics) on a daily basis can leave some people feeling fried while others cannot justify the price. Mids will scratch that itch without so much as tickling your wallet. Personally I would say the Mids we offer are levels above street level mids and some are definitely straddling the border between Mids and Midzotics.
Lemon Walker
Floral and citrus. Can pick up bits of the gassiness from the Lemon Skunk parent but its not as sharp. Kush and walker come through more once ground up. Very pleasant and quite pungent.
Small to large buds, minimal stalk. Not too dry but not wet, just right. Rusty hairs running through some buds. Good trim job, minimal leaf. No purp this batch
Good hybrid hit. Focused but stoned. Could say its like an indica that feels like a sativa. Creeps up on you, will mash you up if you smoke it too quickly.
Blackberry Kush
Smells like blackcurrant cordial. Quite pungent. A less common nose. Sweet and dank, cannot get enough of it!
More purple than green. Where the green is it is so dark it blends in with the purples perfectly. Rest of the colour comes from the amber in the trichomes. Bag appeal is highest of current selection
Smooth and tasty. Ash is a light grey. Indica effect however wouldn't say it's a KO more of a relaxer; larger than usual joints push this towards KO territory. One of those strains you will find yourself indulging in repeatedly due to flavour and effect.
Super Nukem
Sandalwood and pine. Quite pungent. Reminiscient of classic strains of the 00s. Might not be an "exotic" smell but a one I am particularly fond of.
Small to large buds. Light copper hairs and good trichome coverage. You would be forgiven for thinking this is a kush at first glance.
This is where this strain really shines. As a near pure indica it is the clear KO strain among the Mids and Bargains sections. Smoke is clean and ash is light grey. There is more of a spicy kush taste, very enjoyable. You know exactly what to expect from the first few tokes, don't plan to do anything but sleep after indulging.
2 g Lemon Walker
$28.00
BTC0.00119112
2 g Blackberry Kush
$28.00
BTC0.00119112
2 g Super Nukem
$28.00
BTC0.00119112
3.5 g Lemon Walker
$40.00
BTC0.0017016
3.5 g Blackberry Kush
$40.00
BTC0.0017016
3.5 g Super Nukem
$40.00
BTC0.0017016
7 g Lemon Walker
$70.00
BTC0.0029778
7 g Blackberry Kush
$70.00
BTC0.0029778
7 g Super Nukem
$70.00
BTC0.0029778
14 g Lemon Walker
$125.00
BTC0.0053175
14 g Blackberry Kush
$125.00
BTC0.0053175
14 g Super Nukem
$125.00
BTC0.0053175
28 g Lemon Walker
$230.00
BTC0.0097842
28 g Blackberry Kush
$235.00
BTC0.0099969
28 g Super Nukem
$235.00
BTC0.0099969
To find the description of a particular strain press "ctrl+f"/"⌘+f"
This portmaneau is for the selection that is crank in its own right but not quite at the level of the exotics. A lot of street "exotics" would belong in this section. Many of this selection will be cali imported but there is also canadian and non-cali US import. I think most people would probably find this to be "best value" as you're getting genuine import for 40 quid an 8th/under 300 quid an ounce. This is the category I have in stock the most
Jet Fuel Gelato
Nose
Pure gelato and gas. Being totally honest, it reminds me of gelato 33 very much. Quite pungent
Bag Appeal
Medium to large buds. Just the right amount of stick, not dry or wet. Dense buds while still having that fluffy bud structure. Greens, purples and ambers interwine beautifully with a healthy covering of trichomes
Smoke
Tastes how it smells, delicious! The stone creeps up on your but once it hits its strong. Munchies are strong too suggesting a bit of sativa activity although its not much, this is very much a smoke for the evening. Good strain to smoke with your other half ;)
Animal Mints
Nose
Sweet minty cookie. Another pungent one. Very gassy and sweet, there are undertones of vanilla there. One of my favourite aromas on the menu currently
Bag Appeal
Mainly medium sized buds. A mix of golden brown, light green and dark purple, this bud is divine. Buds are solid and dense. Ounces will look less than usual but they fluff up beautifully.
Smoke
Strong hybrid stones and uplifts quickly. Ash varies with this sometimes darker, sometimes lighter. Smoke can be a bit tickly at times. Tastes how it smells; gassy, sweet & piney. Despite being uplifting, could be used as an evening smoke as after the high the stone has long legs and will eventually push you into sleep. Tried this in a vape and was getting milky vapour for an abnormally long time, this should be a vaper's first choice.
Pancakes
Nose
Floral and sweet. Hint of pancakes and maple syrup when ground up. Not the strongest smell however.
Bag Appeal
Mainly large sized buds, I'll do my best to maintain them when shipping to you. Completely purple and covered in amber trichomes. Looks the part of an exotic.
Smoke
Listed as a Hybrid or Indica Dominant strain on the internet but personally i find the effects to lean sativa. The most succient description would be a "a relaxing headhigh". Ash is medium grey but its a pleasant smoke.
Donkey Butter
Nose
Spicy, skunky and kushy. It is very pungent. Both parents - Grease Monkey x Triple O.G - are highlight in the smell.
Bag Appeal
Drenched in amber trichomes. Small bits of light and dark purple interspersed among green. Looks like legit exotics. Buds are generally on the larger/medium size
Smoke
Indica from start to finish. Hits quickly, not a creeper. Light grey ash and is smooth not a tickler. As previously stated will hit your body quick and won't let go, by the end of the joint you'll be sufficiently couchlocked!
Pink Lady
The sativa counterpart to Pink Kush!
Nose
Very kush-like but with an undertone of sweetness
Bag Appeal
Smoke
Kush and sweet. Slightly runtzesque (in my personal opinion). Focused but chilled; don't see this one provoking racy thoughts for those who are prone. Quite unusual to have such a kushy tasting strain without feeling sedated.
This portmaneau is for the selection that is crank in its own right but not quite at the level of the exotics. A lot of street "exotics" would belong in this section. Many of this selection will be cali imported but there is also canadian and non-cali US import. I think most people would probably find this to be "best value" as you're getting genuine import for 40 quid an 8th/under 300 quid an ounce. This is the category I have in stock the most
Jet Fuel Gelato
Pure gelato and gas. Being totally honest, it reminds me of gelato 33 very much. Quite pungent
Medium to large buds. Just the right amount of stick, not dry or wet. Dense buds while still having that fluffy bud structure. Greens, purples and ambers interwine beautifully with a healthy covering of trichomes
Tastes how it smells, delicious! The stone creeps up on your but once it hits its strong. Munchies are strong too suggesting a bit of sativa activity although its not much, this is very much a smoke for the evening. Good strain to smoke with your other half ;)
Animal Mints
Sweet minty cookie. Another pungent one. Very gassy and sweet, there are undertones of vanilla there. One of my favourite aromas on the menu currently
Mainly medium sized buds. A mix of golden brown, light green and dark purple, this bud is divine. Buds are solid and dense. Ounces will look less than usual but they fluff up beautifully.
Strong hybrid stones and uplifts quickly. Ash varies with this sometimes darker, sometimes lighter. Smoke can be a bit tickly at times. Tastes how it smells; gassy, sweet & piney. Despite being uplifting, could be used as an evening smoke as after the high the stone has long legs and will eventually push you into sleep. Tried this in a vape and was getting milky vapour for an abnormally long time, this should be a vaper's first choice.
Pancakes
Floral and sweet. Hint of pancakes and maple syrup when ground up. Not the strongest smell however.
Mainly large sized buds, I'll do my best to maintain them when shipping to you. Completely purple and covered in amber trichomes. Looks the part of an exotic.
Listed as a Hybrid or Indica Dominant strain on the internet but personally i find the effects to lean sativa. The most succient description would be a "a relaxing headhigh". Ash is medium grey but its a pleasant smoke.
Donkey Butter
Spicy, skunky and kushy. It is very pungent. Both parents - Grease Monkey x Triple O.G - are highlight in the smell.
Drenched in amber trichomes. Small bits of light and dark purple interspersed among green. Looks like legit exotics. Buds are generally on the larger/medium size
Indica from start to finish. Hits quickly, not a creeper. Light grey ash and is smooth not a tickler. As previously stated will hit your body quick and won't let go, by the end of the joint you'll be sufficiently couchlocked!
Pink Lady
The sativa counterpart to Pink Kush!
Very kush-like but with an undertone of sweetness
Kush and sweet. Slightly runtzesque (in my personal opinion). Focused but chilled; don't see this one provoking racy thoughts for those who are prone. Quite unusual to have such a kushy tasting strain without feeling sedated.
2 g Jetfuel Gelato
$32.00
BTC0.00136128
2 g Animal Mints
$32.00
BTC0.00136128
2 g Pancakes
$32.00
BTC0.00136128
2 g Donkey Butter
$32.00
BTC0.00136128
2 g Pink Lady
$32.00
BTC0.00136128
3.5 g Jetfuel Gelato
$50.00
BTC0.002127
3.5 g Animal Mints
$50.00
BTC0.002127
3.5 g Pancakes
$50.00
BTC0.002127
3.5 g Donkey Butter
$50.00
BTC0.002127
3.5 g Pink Lady
$50.00
BTC0.002127
7 g Jetfuel Gelato
$95.00
BTC0.0040413
7 g Animal Mints
$95.00
BTC0.0040413
7 g Pancakes
$95.00
BTC0.0040413
7 g Donkey Butter
$95.00
BTC0.0040413
7 g Pink Lady
$95.00
BTC0.0040413
14 g Jetfuel Gelato
$171.00
BTC0.00727434
14 g Animal Mints
$171.00
BTC0.00727434
14 g Pancakes
$171.00
BTC0.00727434
14 g Donkey Butter
$171.00
BTC0.00727434
14 g Pink Lady
$171.00
BTC0.00727434
28 g Jetfuel Gelato
$320.00
BTC0.0136128
28 g Animal Mints
$320.00
BTC0.0136128
28 g Pancakes
$320.00
BTC0.0136128
28 g Donkey Butter
$320.00
BTC0.0136128
28 g Pink Lady
$320.00
BTC0.0136128
28 reviews
9.3/10
25+ sales
0% disputed
11 posts by The Pontiff of Piff
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