Where to start with this one….
Ive had a lot of pretty strong strains off this site, many of them from hans. He arrived on the scene with the legendary pink cookies, and has continued in the same vein for best part of two years to become one of the most established vendors on here. For me, he delivered an absolute show stopper late last year with his gelato, but his menu at the moment is as good as its ever been. I tried 4 products in the latest order, and the absolute standout, was this monolith.
Comfortably overweight, and stealth etc as good as ever, this one stank the house out from the minute the pack was opened. Its got a lovely structure to the buds and slightly sweet, cloying smell. Tastewise you can just about make out similarities to the jungle cake, but i would say its more identifiable through the sunset sherbert parent - both great strains, ive also had through Hans in the past.
When i got round to actually skinning up, there is absolutely no lead in with this one. First toke or two and you can feel it straight away, and rather than having a little fuzzy stage as you work through the joint, it goes straight to a heavy hit, leaving me more confused than an interview with Kasier Soze. Took an hour or so to struggle through the joint - i found it impossible not to park it a few times - by the end of it, i was basically a gibbering mess. My tolerance is as good as most, but this had me right on the precipice for a good half hour or so, i felt like i was going to spin out like a teenager who has necked 6 cans of stella and washed them down with a strong soap bar spliff, 90s style.
The stone felt totally non functional to me. I’ll usually whack something on the ps5, watch a film, have a tug, whatever, but with this, i genuinely couldn’t be arsed to do anything. Just kind of sat there staring into space, trying to remember what i was doing.
My wife eventually saved the day by placing a coffee and a cupcake in front of me, which slowly seemed to dampen the effects into a REALLY nice ,mellow, but quite physical stone. It kind of felt like she’s popped her vibrator into my stomach and i had a nice buzzy feeling spreading out all over my body. To be completely honest she probably could have done, and i wouldnt have noticed or put up a fight.
Its as strong as anything ive had and i include trips to the dam where ive specifically asked vendors for their strongest pre rolls available - it properly stopped me in my tracks. The stoneover is lethal, too. Despite a cracking nights sleep as a result, it took me well into the following evening to shake that fuzziness from my head.
I’d say, despite the price (just north of £50), its a bargain, because it delivers on levels. Definate buyer beware notice - and because of that, it wouldnt quite be at the top of my rankings on here - just that bit too strong, and i like my strong strains. Weekends only for me, on this one.
